Friday, August 27, 2010

The Power of Healthy Confidence

Confidence Defined and Balanced
Confidence is a "power-source" of personal attitudes that develop early in life. Our attitudes are shaped by our thoughts, values and belief systems-positive and negative. When beliefs are grounded in positive thought, an inner light will be reflected outwardly to others as confidence-our source of power. It's a personal value of infinite worth to be prized by all.
However, Dr. John Rosemond warns that parents, in their best efforts to develop self-esteem in their children, have often coddled them and made them more egocentric and self-centered. Healthy confidence (our personal power source) evolves from developing five essential areas of growth and fitness -physical, intellectual, emotional, relational and spiritual.

Physical Confidence:
Healthy body image needs change as children grow and develop. Confidence in one's appearance comes from a balance of appreciation, acceptance and embracing improvement where possible. Parents and peers can model positive, confident behavior, and body image, avoiding unfair comparisons. Also, healthful exercise, nutrition and controlling stress are basic to body fitness.

Intellectual Confidence:
We need continuous healthy stimulus in order to grow, compete and adapt in this world. Expanding knowledge through books, in nature, by observation and critical thinking. These acts empower the transformation of our minds. We gain wisdom by searching for truth, balancing conformity and diversity.

Emotional Confidence:
Feelings differ from emotions. Feelings are reactions that may or may not energize one to thought or action. Emotions are tools to help manage life's challenges and situations. Being response/able means controlling negative emotional attitudes such as fear and anger with positive powers such as grace, courage, respect, acceptance and forgiveness. Confidence builds courage and frees us from the control of negative emotions.

Confidence in Relationships:
Many persons grow intellectually, but fail in personal relationships. Partnering and relational skills are not adequately taught in most homes, schools, churches or workplaces.We often struggle to submit to the highest good. Our own self-interest conflicts with others. We need to respect and respond to the needs of others as we pursue our own goals.

Spiritual Confidence:
Norman Cousins observed, "our belief systems are the activators of our healing systems. Our beliefs represent the unique element in human beings that makes it possible for our minds to affect our bodies." Confidence comes from trusting others and trusting the excellence of the world we live in and in our Creator.

Lesson 4 in "Family Power" explains how to refuel your power and confidence. It also outlines the Law of Confidence: trust and respect for self and others. This is the foundation for basics of all relationships. Healthy Confidence requires discipline and power. By choosing to be response/able, you influence the direction and outcome of the confidence in you and those around you. Filling your mental fuel tank with confidence--building words of value, dignity and hope; words that will motivate you into a higher place of confidence; leading to the freedom of loving, trusting relationships.

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The Power of Change

Family Power Blog/Column # 3
Dr. Ed Hollenberg
August 16-31, 2010

Embracing Change
As another school year begins, we recognize change is a fact of life, the one thing we can count on. Many changes we face are chaotic, disorderly and unplanned. But with the change of natural processes there is an order, a highly predictable plan.Think of the constant forces of change in our bodies as we grow from infancy to toddler, child to adolescent, adult to aged. Slow, continual change evolves in the world around us - population, consumption, marriage and divorce, birth and death, homelessness, crime and violence, wars and tribal conflicts, economic and political change... life goes on.

Change & Growth
During infancy and childhood, choices and change are almost the complete responsibility of parents. Curiosity must be encouraged but safe-guarded. As physical and emotional changes develop during adolesence, the body is growing, yet the brain does not reach adult maturity until age 22. This is a period of challenged response/ability. Guidance and stability from parents, teachers and adult mentors are vital. Every teenager needs a role model other than Mom & Dad. The adolescent brain needs good purposes, values and a sense of destiny.

Changing Habits
Perhaps we feel helpless because so much change is out of our control. Change is also a choice as it pertains to our attitudes and habits. William James wrote, "The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. Ridding ourselves of faulty, negatives thoughts and actions by concentrating on positive desires and emotions. To choose and to act response/ably, one must visualize desires, clarify actions and reject enslavement to old, reactive patterns.

Change Your Future
Industry consultant Phil Crosby made a powerful statement on change in lives/homes, "The culture we now have...we don't need to condemn it...all we have to do is describe the future the way we would like to (see it) and then march down the yellow brick road." Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, we parents can envision our children and families marching to our destiny as we see it. Imagine, daily, how you want to change and it will happen! Your life will change - it is inevitable. The only question is when, how and how much...positive or negative. It is your choice. Grow...transform...renew your life

Powerful Words for Family Power!
Dr. Ed

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